Sheetrock

Sheetrock covers things up. Like your wires, insulation, mistakes, the cement foundation and it gets the room ready to go. I helped hang sheetrock tonight under the excellent direction of my wife (she is finally home! YAY!!! I missed you, sweetie!) who was constantly mocking me and one of my best friends in the world. We got the hole in our room fixed. It is ready for tape and mud, a compeletly odious enterprise that I have done once and that was enough for me. I will pay to have that done. It's the cost/benefit analysis in play. Anyway, sheetrock is cool. You can paint it, plaster it, put wood over it, put cloth over it, do a myriad of things with and to it. It is the base pallette off of which a room is based. Done well, you don't notice it, done poorly, you see the seams, the ridges, the tape lines, it draws your eyes to its imperfections regardless of what other accoutrements are in the room. Sheetrock, cuts easily (with the right tools) can be bent slightly, fits imperfetly into corners but made to look perfect with tape and mud, is dusty when cut, tapered to join. It is a metaphor for life. Sheetrock rocks!

Cherish

We should cherish the time we have together. A man with whom I work has a nephew that had a horriffic car accident last night. He is in an induced coma right now with parts of his skull removed from his head for the bruised, battered and swelling brain. I don't know if he told his parents he loved them before he went out last night but I want all of my family to know that I love them, I cherish you and you are the most important thing to me in the world. Everything I do is for you. I work, I try to set the example, I pray, I smile, I cajole, I remind of rules, I cook (well bar-b-cue), all I do is for my family, and in particular for my wife. I cherish her. She is the most important person in the world to me. I miss her right now. She is with her father out in Tooele who is visiting us from back east. I hate sleeping alone. I miss the talks, the smile, the laughter, the warmth that she brings to our home. She makes of this cold, sterile living space a home where I love to come and want to stay. Be excellent to each other as a line from one of my favorite movies states (if you can name the movie (first one to do so) will win movie tickets). We don't know what could happen. Our life can change immeasurably in 1 second. Cherish each other. I love and cherish you all.

Knees

Knees are cool. It's spelled weird. Why do we have silent "K's"? Where did that come from? That, silent "P's" and a few other letters thrown in for good measure. All I know is that I would hate to learn English (well, I am still learning English and it can be a very frustrating language, what with its' rules, exceptions, irregular verbs, non-conjugation) and I admire anyone that can master this challenging language. Enough of an aside. You can kneel on knees. That gets me closer to my Father. I heard once that a man is tallest when he is on his knees. That is profound. Another thing, have you ever wondered what chairs would look like if our knees bent the other way? Think about it. Weird, huh? Also what would it look like when we ran if our knees bent the other way? More weirdness. Anyway, the reason for my soliloquy (again spelled correctly but look weird) is that I know that the weather is about to change. How does he know?, you may ask yourself. I will tell you: My knee (left one to be precise) tells me. I checked the weather and yep!, we are expecting rain and coldness in about 2 days. We go from 87 today to 33 on Thursday night. If you don't like the weather in Utah, wait for 5 minutes and it will change. Also, if you need an accurate prognostication, just as my knee!

Change

There is change in the air. My wife, daughter and dog were out on our front driveway/yard/stoop just enjoying the beautiful evening when a hint of cold came creeping up and dragged its hoary fingers over the back of my neck and I realized: Summer is over, fall is falling upon us and winter is right around the corner. I like change. It is good for the soul and helps us get out of our comfort zone. There is nothing inherently wrong with a comfort zone except that we are too comfortable there and little to no progress is realized while there. Change helps me re-evaluate where I am, what I am doing, where changes need to be made. We are going through changes in the assignments in my church responsibilities in who is visited and by whom. Will the changes be good? We, as leadership, prayed about them and they feel right but it's up to the changed and the changees to make the ultimate decision. Change is good. Change is essential to progress. Change.

Peace

I love the feeling of peace. I also love that it sounds like piece, as in a piece of pie, a piece of cake, a piece of steak. Those are two words, while completely different in meaning, have the same sound and that evoke feelings of joy within me. I love the peaceful feeling that my kids, for the most part, are okay. I know where they are, I know, in VERY general and vague terms, what they are doing (just like my mom knew in general and vague terms what I was doing and it was probably good that she didn't know exactly WHAT I was doing all the time, so I know what you are all doing, in general, not specifics, and it's also better I don't know them but I DO know what goes on(very long and rambling parenthetical aside)) and I am okay with that. There is a hymn that we don't sing nearly often enough in church title, "Sweet is the peace the gospel brings" and it is true. Amidst the cacophony of the world in which we live, there is a still, small voice and peace that surpasses all understanding. I try and feel that daily. I feel it now as I contemplate my family, my life and eternity. It is a tender and precious thing that we need to savor daily. I love the peace of being with my wife. We can sit in silence at times, look at each other and share a tender, poignant moment that brings tears of joy to my eyes because I am with her and there is such peace between us. There are no major storms, only minor squalls instigated by yours truly. I am learning. There is the quiet of the evening as the sun nestles over Antelope Island that also brings with it the peaceful end of a normal day. Peace is sweet, peace has been given to us by our Elder Brother, not as the world giveth but as an eternal perspective. I love peace.

Unexpected

I had something happen that was unexpected: Someone, I don't know who, decided to critique my posutlation on monotheism. I had no idea someone followed me or that individual perhaps stalks people who decide to write on God, the Trinity, Jesus, or something like that. He, I think, is trying to "convert" me from my erroneous (according to him) ways. Strange. I guess it's interesting that people would do that but I am grateful for those of you who do, whether religiously or intermittently, follow my feeble attempts at cogent thought. What I write, I don't think matters much except to those who matter to me but, as Christ taught, all mankind should matter to me. I don't write deep, poignant or stirring missives, just what is running through what passes for my mind. It can get really lonely in there, just ask my kids... Regardless, thanks for reading and sharing with me. Had some great news at work today: a school district with which we do a little business, approached me at a trade show that we were attending together and asked me/us (my company) to call the end of October. They would like to increase their business with us because they really like our service and disappointed with the service they are currently receiving. Customer service is key in any industry or job. If you treat others the way you want to be treated, you will be able to partner with a lot of companies and become their problem solver. I love the fact that people are seeing my company as a problem solver, someone to whom they can turn and get an honest answer. Sales is easy if you do 2 things: Listen and follow up. You will be successful beyond your wildest dreams. Sounds easy but it is two of the hardest things to do consistently. Anyway, today was a good day, things happened that were unexpected.

Legal

Legal. That term has many connotations, most of them negative or questioning legality. All of my kids are now of legal age but one. I find myself not aging but my children growing, maturing, marrying, having kids, going off to school, making decisions, all of that "adult" stuff. I now have 5 "adults" as children. It doesn't really seem possible that it has all gone by so fast. Where did it go?... It seem like just yesterday I was changing diapers, heating up bottles in the microwave, sneaking food to the babies (sorry sweetie!), holding their hands while they learned to walk, helping them ride bikes, first days of school, soccer, baseball, football, basketball, hockey, swimming, where does it all go? Has my life been nothing but a chauffeur? Perhaps but those have been my most precious moments with my children as I took them to games and we had some private, one-on-one time together. We laughed, cried, rocked out (still do), discussed all things including the opposite sex (I still can't believe I have grandkids and have others dating, you are not old enough to do that yet!!!! I distinctly remember telling all of you that you couldn't date until you were married or 35, whichever came first), talked about church, goals, dreams. Those are dear to me. Where has it gone? You have become legal, made good choices for the most part and are progressing in your lives. I am proud of you. You are good people, good children and exemplary people in my book. To me, you are legal.

Nothing

Nothing. That is what I have to write about tonight. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero. Worked, picked up my finished catalogue (looks awesome I must say) worked with a guy today and we accomplished zero as well. Didn't further anyone along. Might have got a phone number or a name but the person wasn't sure. I got stuff done but if felt like I was spinning my wheels. Going nowhere fast. Took the catalogue to our Ogden store, no one was there, meaning my sales guys, they were out so I got zero accomplished there. I did get my home teaching done but it felt like it wasn't without my old partner. I went alone. I was sad. If this was a week-end day and I got zero done, I would be happy because I would get to sit around and be lazy but today I wasn't lazy and it still felt like I got nothing done but I did but it doesn't feel like it if that makes sense... Anyway, I am not nothing, nor is anyone not nothing. We are someone and someones (that's plural for someone) care about us. So eventhough I felt like I didn't get anything done today, I got home and that was something to see and be with my family. See, it wasn't nothing, it was something!

Monotheism

The worship of one God. My son was asked in school that if we believe in the trinity and we believe them to be 3 separate beings, how can we believe in monotheism. Easy. There is only one God, our Heavenly Father. We worship Him and revere Him as our Father and the Supreme Being. Jesus Christ, His Son, is just that, His Son, the First Born of our Father's spirit children (of which we are all part) and His Only Begotten Son here on earth. We come to the Father through the Son because He is our intermediary with the Father. He, Christ, paid the price for our sins through the atonement. If we repent and take advantage of the atonement, we can be forgiven and become worthy to enter or return to the presence of our Father. All Christ did, all His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane when He atoned for our sins, when He took upon Himself all of our pain, failures, sickness, any and all bad things that ever happen to us, His crucifixion, death and resurrection allow us to come back to our Father and be with Him again as we were before coming here to earth to gain a body and to prove ourselves to see if we would be true and faithful to the commandments so that we could return Home to our Father. The Holy Ghost is another separate being that testifies of the veracity of the Father and the Son and lets us know that what we are doing is correct. He, the Holy Ghost, is that warm, fuzzy feeling when we hear something true, He testifies to us. That is why Christ told His disciples that He would send the Comforter after He left and the Comforter would teach them the truth of all things. There was no need for the Holy Ghost when Christ was with His disciples because they saw Him, lived with Him, worked with Him, preached with Him, witnessed His miracles. The Holy Ghost testifies to us of true things that we cannot see but we feel them and they are true. Just like now, if you are reading this with a sincere heart, pondering these words, you feel of their truth through the Hold Ghost. I know it happens because I can feel His, the Holy Ghost's presence now testifying to me this is so. It makes so much sense, it is logical. There are 3 separate and distinct beings in the Trinity, they form the Godhead but there is only 1 God that we worship and that is God, our Heavenly Father. They are 1 in purpose but only 1 Father, Architect, Planner, Overseer, God and that is our Heavenly Father. See, monotheism.

The Boss

The Boss' music is entrancing. It sucks me in, it makes me forget about stuff. I was watching the game tonight after celebrating yet another birthday in September (1 more to go this week, you'd think I could plan things better and spread out the "love" (not that, SHAME on you!) if you know what I mean, meaning the birthdays so September after back to school wouldn't be such a heinously expensive month) for my daughter with green eyes, we had lasagna, cheese bread and cake with milk and bananas (at least for me, the cake, bananas and milk YUMMY!!! (the only way to eat cake in my humble opinion)) and then we sat around and talked for a bit, anyway, as I was watching TV and flipping around (a horribly long sentence this) I flipped on a Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band concert on the tube (well, it's not a tube anymore, it's flat and in high def, LOVE the HD) and I was hooked. Amazing. The HD even showed his sweat. You could see the enjoyment he gets from his music and the interaction with the crowd and the members of his band. It seems as if they enjoy playing together. Anyway, it was fascinating to watch the passion he and the members of the band display as they play and sing. While I don't always, well never, agree with his politics, I do enjoy his music. I think that everyone has something to offer and we just have to dig for it. With the Boss, it's his music. He is older than dirt (meaning older than I), I remember listening to his music back in the 80's and he had the same passion and emotion back then and he is still churning out the music, the passion and the enjoyment, at least for me. The Boss is (get ready for an old time term for cool or the bomb)boss!

Kids

Kids are cool. We had my favorite church program today: The kid program. They are so innocent and want to please their parents by being reverent, having their parts memorized, singing so loudly that parents, family, grandparents and siblings can hear them. It's always great when they don't sing on key. They don't care, they are singing from the heart for the people that matter most to them: family and God. I think we need to be more like that; not thinking what others think about us but only be concerned about what God and our family think. I would be a lot better and more sincere person if that was my modus operendi. I got to thinking about my own kids and how proud I am of them. Of how greatful I am that they can express what they feel and believe in a cogent manner. There are things more powerful than opinion and that is conviction. I know all of my kids have a conviction of God, that He is there for them, that He loves them and that He will forgive them as I know He forgives me (I hope I haven't worn out my welcome with that one. It reminds me of an anecdote from J. Golden Kimball who once said, "The brethren would excommunicate me but I repent too damn fast!" I feel like that and I will always follow that axiom) and I know that He loves me perfectly. I am still working on loving perfectly. I feel I am getting better at looking at the person rather than circumstances but I am still weak. I am grateful for a wife that demands more of me and constantly reminds me to be good and look for the good. She is such a blessing in my life. It was her birthday a week ago. I haven't yet expressed in this forum how lucky I am that God smiled down on me when I met my wife. She has restored me. She has been with me through thick and, in my case, thicker (although I wish I could say thinner but that is a blog for another day)... More than anything, she has given me the joy and innocence of being a kid again. Not acting childlishly (although I do that a lot) but being child-like in my faith and and outlook on life. She has also given me kids. I like my kids, all of them. They are good kids. I like all kids. We need to be more like kids.

Malapropisms

Do you know what that is? It's saying a word the wrong way. My youngest daughter and I were on our way to a movie and she said that she scored well on the "stimulator". I asked her what that was, thinking the worst, and she said it was a machine where you fake drive. Oh, the simulator?, I said. Yeah, that's it. When I was younger, I always thought it was "Old Timer's Disease" instead of Alzheimer's. It made sense to me because it affected old people and I just thought they had a disease. When I was REALLY young, there was a song I used to sing called, "Little purple pansies touched with yellow gold" but I thought it was little purple "panties" touched with yellow gold, which again made sense if a little girl had an accident... Why am I thinking this? Communication plays such an enourmous role in our lives and we spend so little time trying to perfect it with those around us and, especially, with those we love the most. I know I am so guilty of that. I need to work on my communication. I need to be patient, listen and just close my mouth. I would learn a lot if I did that. I have so much to learn. The more I learn, the less I know.... Anyway, there are several malapropisms that are rampant in our family. I guess each family has their own idiosyncracies and I love the ones that we have and share. It's fun to understand each other, in spite of ourselves at time. As the say in spanish, "Bring us snow shoes" (buenas noches)!

Sleepy

I am, full day, it's late. More tomorrow. I'm sleepy zzzzz.

Done

Have you ever been "done"? I am "done" with a huge project at work, in fact, I just finished up the final edit of a new catalogue that I had been tasked to do since I hired on with my company. I thought I was "done" about 3 times ago but there were always edits, corrections, additions, subtraction, etc. and my "done" wasn't "done" but now I think I am "done" for now or at least until out next run when we might add some pictures or further descriptions. It looks good. I like the feeling of accomplishment of being "done". I remember when I was a kid, I worked on my uncle's farm moving sprinkler pipe. For those of you that don't know, sprinkler pipe is about 40 feet long sections of aluminum pipe with a rainbird sprinkler head in the middle and I would move each one about 50 feet twice a day. Each line had was about a 1/4 mile long, approximately 32 pipe. The 3" diameter pipe were all right to move but the 4" in a low area would fill with water and get heavy, about 250 pounds minimum when all was said and done. (parenthetical aside: I remember one 4" pipe was REALLY heavy down in a low area of a field I was moving. I remember picking up the pipe and it actually bent in half it was so heavy. When I showed my uncle he couldn't believe it. He had never seen anything like it. He thought I had done something to the pipe to bend/break it like that because you supposedly couldn't do that to those pipe but I did. He thought I was pretty strong after that. Aside done) The reason for this stroll down memory lane was the sense of "doneness" I would feel after the sprinklers came on. You could either tell if you were "done" with that line or not by whether all the sprinklers came on or not. If not, there was a blow-out and you had to walk the line (pain in the butt) to find and fix the blow out. In my 4 years of moving pipe for my uncle, I was always "done", I never had a blow out. So, I am hoping that my "doneness" with this particular project doesn't result in a "blow out" (I don't think it will) and I will be able to see the sprinklers all start up (the sales guys will REALLY like the catalogue and, more importantly, my owner will like the fininsed project. So, am I "done" with this? I don't know but I know that I am close to "done" and that is a great feeling right now. I like being "done"

Concern

I am concerned about a few things. For example: I am concerned about my children. Are they okay? Do they have enough to eat? Are the grandkids okay? Do then know me? Do they remember me? Am I being a good dad, g-pa, husband? Will my kids make a difference in the world, will I? Will I be a good leader? Will I be a good manager? Will I be a good president next year in Rotary? Will I be the one to screw up a good thing? Will my kids like me? Will the love me? Will they listen to me? Will I listen to them? Am I doing a good job at work? Am I a good son? Will I carry on the Porter name with pride? Will I stain that good name? Do I plan on doing the things that concern me?, No, but I am human. I strive to do my best at everything but will that be enough? Will I be there always for my children, grandchildren, wife, mother? Will I make the right choices? Will I repent fast enough when I make incorrect choices? Will I have the humility to make amends and ask forgiveness? Will I be welcomed back "home" from where we all come? Will I endure to the end? Will I do enough? Is this all? Am I destined for a life of mediocrity? Will I make a difference? I would like to think that Yes, I would, will and am making a difference. My wife is wonderful, she inspires me to be better each day. My kids are making good decisions for the most part. They are progressing. They count on me. Am I a good son? I try. With all these people cheering me on, with all these people depending on me, with all these people setting examples for me and expecting me to be an example, should I be concerned Yes, because I am fallible but my concern keeps me striving forward. I would be concerned about not being concerned. It is good for me to be concerned.

Tired

I am tired right now. It's not even late or anything. I just had a long day at work. I got there about 7, had some items to finish, had to be in Ogden by 8:30m barely made it. I rode with one of my guys for the first time since I started back in November. I think he finally accepts me and thinks I can add to his ability. I was on edge there while we were getting to know each other a little better. We were scheduled to have a lunch with a new customer that would be meeting us for the first time. She was busy. Missed lunch. I got dropped off at Ogden, left, forgot my cheque, had to go back. Had a meeting at 2:30 to get a final proof ready of our magazine. Was there until after 7. Didn't get my check deposited. Got home took out the trash, caught my breath. Read scripture; 75 verses, said family prayers, ate dinner (spaghetti with spicy meat, YUMMY!!!) went and "read" for a while and now I am sitting down here, breathing hard again after going through my day. What I missed: Home teaching one of my families and Ward Temple Night. Bad move, I am kind of in charge of that with my church responsibility. Frustrating. Tired is good but tired is also tiring. I'm tired.

Plans

Have you ever noticed how you can plan something and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't? That forces beyond our control take over and don't allow us to do what we had planned. Case in point: It rained today and I had planned to mow the lawn. Now, I don't know when I will because the rest of the week is booked or at least "planned" out. Will my plans change? Who knows but I would think that they might. Although, my plans are pretty well set unless a dire emergency comes about, plans through Thursday and even into Saturday won't and probably can't change. Interesting. Why do we plan things? Do we think we have some semblance of control over things in our lives? I know for a fact that we don't. External forces can exert themselves and our plans come to naught. Is that good or bad? I don't know but I do know that we need to be sufficiently flexible to change plans when the need arises. What am I trying to say? Well, I had "planned" on going to be tonight at about 10:00 and here it is 11:47. Did something earthshaking occur? Nope, just got caught up in other things and here I am about 2 hours late. Plans, you gotta love 'em.

Organization

I am not the most organized person. My kids can tell you that. You can walk into my office and see that I manage by piles. I do know where everything is but it's not the perception of perfection that I would like (well at least I think I would like to do that) to present. I have leadership postions in work, at Rotary and church. I think I have done the smartest thing for me and that is to surround myself with people who have everything I don't: Organizational skills. I do things by "feeling" yet I have to be sanguine about performance in my sales team. I would like to have those skills but it just is not in my make up. I came to realize this early in my educational career. I thought I might want to be an accountant. I know, you can stop laughing and pick yourselves up off the floor from the shock you just got by seeing that as my thought process. I realized that I DID NOT want to deal with numbers (organized numbers at that) all day and have minimal interaction with people. Math was never my forte' in school as my kids can testify. I think most of them passed me up on my math skills in about the 8th or 9th grade. I don't apoligize for that only in that I couldn't help them. I am not built that way. I can't comprehend how someone came up with the Pythagoren Theorum or anything like that. I have immense respect for people that can do what they do. I have a "feeling" job. I get to know people, I listen, present options and let them make decisions. I don't and won't (though I can) manipulate people to do what I want. I like to have great people around me to do the things that need to be done and stay out of the way. It's like being organized: Can I be? I have at times (but with great difficulty) but it's not who I am. I can "organize" things however by surrounding myself with the right people. So after all, I guess I can organize without necessarily being organized.

Time

I am confused by the concept of time. Who invented time? Who decided to divide a day into 24 hours, 60 minutes and 60 seconds. Who arbitrarily decided to divide the year intop 365 1/4 days? Who decided on 12 months with varying days for those months? Who decided how long time should be? Who invented time? Man, that is who. And like man, time is imperfect. We are told that time is measured only unto man. I can barely fathom time as I know it, how will I be expected to comprehend no time?!?!?! Time is also precious to me. I treasure it because, as of now, it is a finited commodity to us. I was able to spend time with my daugther tonight watching a movie that has become something of a tradition for us on a Saturday night. That time is precious to me. That is time I cherish and plan to happen. Like date night with my sweetheart. I plan for that time. Would all time mean more to me if I planned all of it? Do I want to plan all of it or do I want to also enjoy the spontaneity? I am somewhat spontaneous (unless it has to do with vacations and I am SO anal about those) and enjoy living in the moment but would I get more out of my moments if I planned them better? These are the things I think. Time also has a great role in sports. Today there were some great college football games on (thanks sweetie for letting me watch some and just veg out) and as the time drew to an end, people seemed to perform better. Now, as the end is drawing closer for us (the 2nd Coming, I mean) are we performing better? Some are some aren't. Time is measure unto man but do we all measure it the same? Though I am confused, I appreciate the time I do have.

9/11

How soon we have forgotten what happened just a few short years ago. How soon have we, as the scriptures say, turned like a dog to his vomit. How soon have we forgotten the Lord, Our God. How soon do we forget His Hand in our lives. How soon have we ignored those who risk their life to serve and protect others, i.e., us. How soon do we start fighting and bickering. How much longer will God allow us to be dumb? How soon have we forgotten. I was always amazed about the Nephites in the Book of Mormon and how soon they could forget all that they went through as the scriptures say, "in a few short years" and yet here we are. I can suddenly understand (well it wasn't sudden and I have been realizing this for a while) how it is possible for a people to be chastised by the Lord, repent, remember His Hand, be righteous for a couple of years and then turn again. We are living this right now. We know the time is short. It is imperative we study and learn from the Book of Mormon shortly before Christ's visit to the America's. It is not so well annotated but equally significant as to what happened shortly before His, Christ's, birth. The righteous were imprisoned and to be put to death on a certain day if the signs didn't occur. This signs happened and the righteous were spared but soon most forgot about the signs and wonders. That is exactly where we are: Forgetting signs and wonders. Do we pay attention? How soon before something else happens? Will we be ready? Will we be watching? 9/11 is a great reminder. How soon?...

Sammiches

I really love sammiches. What are sammiches you may ask? They are really, really, really good sandwiches. If fact, you can't say "sandwich" with a mouthful of the sammiches my wife makes. Unbelievable. I had a L O N G day at work today and didn't really have time to eat or do anything and when I got home, my wife and I had a meeting and after that meeting, I had another meeting. When I finally got home for good at about 9:15 (after getting to work about 7:00 or so) I had to get a powerpoint ready for sales meeting tomorrow morning. I was hungry but I didn't want to take the time to eat because I know how long it was going to take me to put together about 25 slides with words, pictures (finding them on Stock Photos (photos.com) is a real life saver) and animations. As I was working, my dear wife brought me a sammich! It was so delicious. My mouth waters right now thinking about it. It had smoked turkey, muenster cheese, tomatoes, mayo, Grey Poupon (that is so the bomb) mustard, Dick's Bread (if you live out here you know what I'm talking about and you KNOW you miss it). Yummy, yummy, yummy! Sandwiches are okay but there are few places and even fewer people who know how to make sammiches. I am so blessed that I am married to one of them. I love sammiches!

Busy

I like being busy. I am actually buried at work right now. It was a bad week to have labor day because I have to stuff almost 6 days of work into 4. It's weird how when you call someone and the phone is busy. Are they really busy or are they just ignoring you? I've always wondered that. Today was busy. I am interviewing people for a position at work. I like and don't like doing that. I had to deliver the rest of a proposal today. I had a quarterly meeting with my toilet paper (I love TP!!!) and other paper today. I had to rush home, well to the church before I got home, to take tables and chairs to a park for a church party tonight. I love it when people cooperate. It makes life so much easier. Anyway, being busy is good but there are times when we can be too busy and get frazzled. I am almost to the frazzle stage now. If I had hair, it just might look at touch mussed because of my frazzleness... I like being busy but I wish I had time to breathe right now. I feel I am missing the small and simple things that make life so enjoyable. I feel myself getting caught up in my own importance and that is not good. I need to take a step back, smell the air, look at the sunset and appreciate what God hath wrought. He is busy but He is never too busy. I don't want to be too busy, I just want to stay busy. I like being busy.

Cars

Cars are an essential part of what I do for work. In fact, if I didn't have a car, I couldn't do what I do. On a typical I will drive anywhere from 100-300 miles as I go and visit customers with my sales team. Cars make life a lot easier. If I had a horse, like they did 150 years ago, I couldn't do what I do. But then, they didn't have toilet paper or other cleaning products back then so I would be out of a job anyway. I was wondering about cars. What do we do in them? I look around as I drive and I see people singing and moovin' to the groovin', Fun. I see people talking on their phones, a bit dangerous but it depends on how animated the conversations are. It could range from VERY dangerous to just mildly obnoxious. Texting: now there is something that should be a crime. Anyone caught texting while driviing should have their phone shut off for at least 30 days and the person should have roadside clean up for 2 week ends. I hate it when people text. The other day I saw a woman texting, applying mascara and drinking coffee at the same time!!!!! What is so important that it can't wait 10 to 30 minutes to communicate to someone? If you need to apply make up - GET UP 10 MINUTES EARLIER!!!!! Your car is NOT your bathroom. What possesses people? I am surprised that as many of us are alive as there are of us because of the brain-dead things we do when operating a 3,000 tp 4,000 pound piece of machinery, traveling at speeds of over 75 miles per hour (we are in Utah afterall) and we don't have our full attention on what we are doing. I am guilty of being dumb as well but I have resolved that things can wait a few minutes. There is nothing so life and death about work that can't wait 1/2 hour or so. We are filled with a false sense of importance of what we do. We all need an enema to quit being so full of ourselves. Cars. They take us places and can cause others to be taken places not planned for. I like, respect and, at times, fear cars.

Days off

I like 3 day week ends. It's like a treat that you find in a birthday cake and you are the one to get the special prize. It gives me options to do a lot or to do nothing. Today, I did a combination of both. I mowed my lawn, smells good. My wife and daughter were out weeding today. My wife, because she loves me, my daughter for a phone. Yes, we are all now "mobiled". I reflect on how things have changed. When I was first in my career, when I was home, I was home. There was no tether to work except the home phone and no one EVER called that unless it was life or death. Then I got a pager, not as much freedom but still it was used judiciously. Now, I get work following me wherever I go. No rest, no real time off. Have we gained or lost with technology? I say a bit of both. I can track my kids down wherever they are, we are in immediate communication but the downside is that work can get me too. I have the internet on my phone and it constantly reports messages, notices, etc. I have been slammed this week end because we have a job posting out. I miss the simpler days, the quieter days but I am grateful for the instant communication days as well. I guess I can't have it both ways. So, my 3 day week end wasn't really a 3 day week end in the sense that I was off of work because work followed me around but I didn't have to go to the office. Is that progress? Sort of but I still enjoyed the down time with the family (what's left of it here) and just veggin'. I think we need more 3 day week ends.

Locks

Locks are interesting. They can keep people out and in. You can lock someone in their room. You can lock your house to keep people out (although the only people you are keeping out are the honest people, those who what to get in, will) and have some sory of peace of mind that you are actually protecting what is temporarily yours. I say temporarily because nothing we own here is eternal and it will be left or used up or donated or given away or broken or exhausted or worn out or whatever. What we have is temporary. Nothing, except our relationships and covenants, is eternal. The reason I am thinking about locks is that it is my turn to lock up the church and make sure it is secure. What I once did with my son, I now do with my last daughter. Locking up a church is interesting. Why do we do that? I know there are valuable things there but shouldn't people be trusted in a church? Have we sunk so far as a society that we can't trust ourselves to obey the simplest, most basic of rules and commandments: Not to steal? It's a sad commentary on when and where we live. I wonder if people 150 years ago had locks? What did they have to steal? I guess if you stole a gun or a horse, that would be extremely serious because my manner of protection, providing for my family and transportation would be gone. But did they have locks? Have we really progressed as a people/society? Just because we have more stuff we feel we have to protect it, are we any happier than those of bygone eras? I have lived in and witnessed utter poverty in other countries and I would posit that those who have little are much happier than those who have much. Are we so caught up in acquisition that we don't tend to that which is eternal: relationships and covenants? Are our covenants safe and secure or are they open to interpretation? Locks won't help there. It is our relationships and commitments to what is truly important to us. I think I will simplify one of these days. I don't know if I will ever leave my doors unlocked but I would like to decrease my temporary things and focus more on the eternal ones. Locks are two way. Which way are they for me?....

Spanish

I have a special place in my heart for the spanish language. It is so beautiful and descriptive. Why use just one word when 3, 4 or 5 will do? It's the levels of understanding and meaning that give it its depth and complexity. It is like a sunset, constantly changing its view and intensity (multiple words meaning same thing) like the afternoon overcast yet remaining constant (with rules and grammar) like the sun. Spanish has provided most of everything in my life. Well, my mission has done that which provided me my spanish but I digress. Because of Spanish, I got my first job with the FBI, I got my 2nd job setting up a trucking company in Mexico with the twin plants (maquiladoras), I got my subsequent jobs up to my current one because of my
bi-linguability (is that a word?, if not, it should be just be cause it sounds and looks so cool) and my comfort with a 2nd language. I have also found that if Spanish is spoken correctly it will improve how my English is spoken as well. Anyway, because of my spanish, I married my wife who speaks spanish and we went to a party of spanish speakers tonight. I like the hispanic people. They are full of life and hugs, lots of good food (except for the rice that I don't really like, well white rice (if you watch it long enough it moves, just like maggots) but I do like rice with achiote and other things my wife does to amuse and placate me) and enjoyable company. There were a couple of people from Brooklyn where I lived once upon a time, met my wife and then we moved around. Spanish brings together a lot of people. I think it is sad that Americans think that if someone speaks Spanish, they are Mexican. Not true. Spanish is spoken by a myriad of countries, one of which is Mexico but just because someone speaks spanish does not make them Mexican. Nothing against my Mexican people but it is frustrating for others of hispanic descent to not have their heritage recognized as well. I am now off my soapbox. Anyway, my kids all speak spanish and I think that is cool. Spanish has done a lot for me. I hope I can give something back. Espanol es la bomba! even you norteamericanos should be able to figure that one out... Spanish, I think I'll keep it.

Cooking

I saw a movie tonight (date night, don't ya know) entitled, "Julia and Julie". Nice show but as my wife and I got to talking I realized where my love of cooking has come. Well, my dad liked to cook but I never saw him do that but I am told he and I do about the same things. Frustrates our wives a bit when we come in and just add things but he and I do the same things. Weird how genes, heritage and legacies all play together. Anyway, back to cooking. When I was young, (back in the jurassic era) I would watch PBS and Julia Child. I remember watching her cook and I would try at a young age to imitate her. I never saw her clean up or wash dishes so I didn't think that was part of cooking (still don't) and I would use and still do almost every pot, pan, spatula, whisk, measuring device that is available. Why?, you might ask? I'll tell you, so you don't cross contaminate the ingredients until the proper time for them to be mixed together. I was watching TV in black and white (that's all they had back then when I was really young. (sidebar: I remember getting our first color TV (we were the first in my extended family to have one amongst the cousins) and how green the people used to look. No one can understand this unless they saw it) and it was also PR (pre-remote), well, I remember having one black and white TV with a remote, it was a Zenith and it would click from channel to channel until it arrived at the correct channel) (really long parenthetical aside, sorry)) and I was fascinated with the way she cooked and how she cooked. I remember my mom once making Beef Wellington after watching a show and me begging for one. It was delicious. I love being a meatatarian. But I have a question: if we eat things that are vegetarians (like cows and chickens and deer and such) by extension doesn't that make us vegetarians as well? Just curious. Anyway, I love to cook but not clean. I love to experiment. I try to get my wife to change her native dishes because I know an ingredient will go great with the dish and I get this crusty look and a comment that it's not the way the dish is done. Experimenting is fun when I cook. Cooking is easy. I am glad that I was able to reflect on my past and discover something about myself: Why I love cooking. I hope that I have instill some of that in my children. I think I have. Cooking is fun. I love cooking (but not cleaning)!

Thursday

Thursdays are great! I really enjoy them. Why not Friday? Well, I enjoy them like the rest of humanity that works a traditional week when I can have 2 consecutive days off (3 this week!!!!) and spend time with the family. Why Thursdays you may ask? One word: ROTARY. Today I had the opportunity to go to my meeting this morning, be inspired by wonderful people working for a common cause, then go to my youngest daughter's high school and attend Interact (Rotary for High School (service club, look great on college applications)) watch her actually VOLUNTEER to want to be a leader in the group, (that was awesome and humbling to see that) and then I attended my wife's Rotary Club this evening where she was officially inducted as a bona fide member of the Hispano-Latino Rotary Club here. I am so proud of her. The President had so many wonderful things to say about her. Her desire to serve, here ability to organize service projects, her love for those less fortunate and her love of people in general. I know where our kids get their strong desire to help those around them. She has done such a great job. Anyway, I wake up with Rotary on Thursdays, I eat lunch with Rotary (at least during school) and I end my day with Rotary. I enjoy Thursday. It is good to serve. It is good to be reminded to serve and look at those around us less, much less fortunate than we. It is humbling to realize how blessed we truly are. Thursdays, like mornings, are a chance to contemplate, reflect and prioritize my life and where adjustments need to be made. This meditative day helps me to appreciate my life, my children's lives and how blessed we truly are. I love Thursday!

Family

I love the concept of family. I love my family. I love the fact that our relationships can continue in perpetuity and eternally if I do what I should. I have an example to set and I am working on that. Family is cool. Granted, you can't choose your family (I actually think we can and did, yes, even knowing all that would happen) but you can choose to love your family, accept us for who we are, help us get better and overlook my innumerable idiosyncracies. I like that fact that we have someone who is always there for us. Where will our friends go? They leave and change but our family is the one constant, north star, in our lives. Who else would put up with the crap we dump on them on our lousy days? Who else knows what to say when our dreams have crashed around us? Who else can give us a hug and an, "I love you" when we need it most, and MEAN it? Family is cool. My family is the best. I would choose everyone again. Are we perfect? Heck no! Do we love each other? Unconditionally! Do we get on each other's nerves? Absolutely! Who know us better and which strings to pull and buttons to push? Do we support each other and are we happy, truly happy, when we succeed? No doubt about it (sounds really cool if you say that with a canadian accent, eh!) I love the fact that my kids, my wife, my grandkids love this gelatinous, jiggly, bald, lousy joke telling, sarcastic, loving, caring, comfortable with my feminine side (you know what I mean... (yes, I wear pastels and argyles and give advice on clothes and decorating the house)), excitable, concerned about my family, wanting the best for them person that I am. I appreciate what you do and are in my life. I love family and MY family most of all.

Morning

I love the morning. It is quiet and serene. There is time for contemplation and planning. There is also time for reflection, meditation, pondering, reading, preparation, dew, sounds of the morning (birds, cars starting and driving off), smells (toast (ambrosia to me with just a little butter and some tart raspberry jam), bacon (l REALLY love bacon, it's the cure for swine flu, don't you know), exhaust, freshly watered lawns and flowers) (like all those parenthetical inserts?) (didn't know I knew how to spell "parenthetical" did you?) (still more inserts...) prayer and reading my scriptures. I love watching how the sun chases away the night, yet the shadows of night cling to the very vestiges of night before surrendering to the inevitable brightening of the day which, in turn, creates its own shadows and how the sun awakens the world. I am usually up before the sun and get to witness this re-birth of the earth on a daily basis. It never grows old for me. What I don't like is when I beat the morning by 2 or 3 hours which has been occurring far too frequently. Why do we wake up so early at times and can't go back to sleep? I think that, at times, God is calling us to just listen and contemplate. I need to remember that as I get frustrated when I can't get right back to sleep. I need to ask what He wants and then listen. I don't listen to the still, small voice as often as I should. My life is filled to overflowing with noise and distractions. Work gets in the way and just life and living gets in the way most days. That, I think, is why I love the morning. I can listen for God a little easier.